For years you can wear the mantle of singledom like a burden. An onerous inconvenience to be shaken off and discarded. Constantly seeking and yearning and dreaming and scheming to find love.
Well-meaning friends tell you cannon fodder fables about “when you least expect it” and “when you’re not looking”. Self help books tell you to “put yourself out there” and “get amongst it”.
So. Damn. Confusing.
And to be honest, when you are a proud individual, single can equate to failure somewhere in your mind’s eye.
So I had to zoom my lens out and get an eagle perspective, because this mind-warp-confusion-web of thoughts was driving me crazy.
At night my pillow was not a stranger to tears, and I think everyone has felt so lonely that their arms ached… and of not, thank God, you have been blessed.
So, yeah, “fuck that”.
I have reached a turning point in life where I can see a different perspective on the drivel we are fed each day by the fear mongering social media campaigners… perhaps this turning point is not just my own… I hope more people can find peace in their heart.
So stop fearing single! (I’m talking to myself too.) At a point it just doesn’t add up anymore. When you’ve past the early-love-dying-to-be-together relationship stage, done a healthy dose of hate-you-love-you-more and are now into friends-lovers-anything-goes territory, white picket fences, wedding dresses and for some, kids, just doesn’t make sense anymore.
Then where are you? You are basically up against a yardstick of comparisons to other people. How does your life measure up against hers and his and theirs?
Well I suppose blow them! Easier said than done, but a good starting point.
What happens behind closed doors and in other people’s relationships is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Unless you feel like some good old-fashioned swinging, ignore them and get on with your own pursuits.
I’m not saying that there is no grief involved with not ‘having it all’ including 2.3 off springs and a golden retriever, but you got to live the cards you have been dealt, and sometimes the picture is not as you imagined.
I’m telling you, the picture your neighbours are painting also has a tinge of Dorian Grey, as does everyone’s.
So I suppose you can have a mantra like ‘single is the new sexy’… yeah that works! That can be my motto for today and hopefully yours too.